


Against All Odds

by ren (renegadewriter)



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Against All Odds by Phil Collins, Angst, Break Up, Challenge Response, M/M, Rare Pairing, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 08:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renegadewriter/pseuds/ren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sunstreaker leaves and Prowl is left to pick up the pieces. </p>
            </blockquote>





	Against All Odds

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2011 lj TF Rare Pairing Community challenge:  
> Prompt: Song- Against All Odds by Phil Collins

"I'm leaving." 

  
Two words.  It only took two words to tear my world apart. They had come unexpected, delivered in a way that should have been wrong in every way; uncaring and cold. There had been a warning in your tone, your body language threatening.   


_‘Don’t fight this’,_ it said.

The finality that bled from your stance only allowed me to nod. Nothing I could say would have stopped your retreating form. I hated myself for that.

_'How can I just let you walk away,  
just let you leave without a trace'_

 

Sunstreaker, what happened? I thought we were happy, that _you_ were happy. We have been together for so long, known each other on a spark deep level...  
  
I thought….   
  
I thought I knew you, as well as you know me. But then, why can't I figure out the reasons you left? 

_'When I stand here taking every breath with you,'  
You're the only one who really knew me at all'_

 

**00000000000000000000**

It hurts. Whatever caused you to push me away, you once _did_ love. Or at least, I hope you did. If you ever held any sort of love for me, if you ever _cared,_ why the sudden and cold rejection? How could you leave in such a hurry? As if I were a parasite you couldn't run away from fast enough? Why couldn't you stay to talk about it, or to at least, have let me down softly.  You didn’t even give me a reason, nor a chance to make you stay. 

How could you add to the hurt of leaving with the cruel manner in which you did? 

_'How can you just walk away from me,  
when all I can do is watch you leave' _

 

We were close. Primus we were talking about bonding! I had the fortune to see you smile where others claimed for it to be impossible. I've heard your joyful laugh, saw the playful and caring mech under that tough persona you strive to present.  You've cried in my arms; for your brother when he was critical, for me when I was tortured, for our home planet... And you’ve held me when I broke down, when I confessed my fears, the hurt I felt from being perceived as a sparkles drone, my dreams for the future.   
  
Did it all mean nothing?  

_'Cos we've shared the laughter and the pain,  
and even shared the tears   
You're the only one who really knew me at all '_

 

**00000000000000000000000**

That same joor, I came back to see you moving out, taking everything you owned; your paintings, the various knickknacks you collected, picture frames of us, our friends and family… everything. That alone should have made your departure permanent in my spark, but there was something you could never take.   
  
No.   
  
No matter what you took from our quarters, what you want to deny, you can never erase my memories of you. How you held me, the way you touched me, loved me. 

_So take a look at me now,_  
'cos there's just an empty space   
And there's nothing left here to remind me,    
just the memory of your face 

 

Our separation hasn't gone unnoticed. It must have shocked others more than it shocked me to learn of your actions, for even mechs who's name I did not know have approached to ask what happened between us.

But that's just it isn't it? 

_What_ happened? 

I know that there's a slim percentage in my favor of you coming back. My battle computer accepts these odds. 

My spark, does not. 

 

_Take a look at me now,_   
_'cos there's just an empty space_   
_And you coming back to me_   
_is against the odds and that's what I've got to face_

 

It was later, much later that the full force of your words and actions came crushing down, any hopes I had destroyed. The realization coming in the form of a mech.  

_Him_. 

The younger, joyful and playful mech was more alive than I'll ever be. I understood it then, as I watched you smile, saw your battle ready frame _relax_ at his mere presence, how much I had _failed_ in making you happy. 

I wonder, if you would have done something had you seen me break down and cry in our- _my_ quarters? Would you have spared a moment to comfort me? Or was I already an ex-lover you wanted to forget about? 

Never before had my silent tears _screamed_ so much, bleeding pain and anguish as they trailed down my cheeks. In those dark moments, I felt my spark want to extinguish from the raw emotions of sorrow. 

It was too much. 

 

_I wish I could just make you turn around,_   
_turn around and see me cry_

 

 

**0000000000000000000**

What could I do to win you back? What could I _say_? There were no words I could conjure to even start explaining how much you mean to me. No way to show my love and devotion to you, at least, not any you would want. 

_There's so much I need to say to you,_   
_so many reasons why_   
_You're the only one who really knew me at all_

 

I can't help but notice the difference now. You _shine_ when you enter the rec. room; when you're with him. No one else notices, no one else can see how happy _he_ makes you. You're so full of life now, full of a love I clearly couldn't give you. 

It.. _pains_ me to see what you gained, for it reminds me of what I lost. 

I wonder what I look like in the optics of a stranger. In _your_ optics. What do you see when you look at me? A broken mech? 

Leaving meant taking everything from me. My joy, my laughter… my spark. 

_So take a look at me now,_   
_'cos there's just an empty space_

 

There's so much I wish I could get back; the warmth of your frame against mine, your words caressing me, soothing my every fear with promises of protection and love. 

If I offline my optics, I can hear the whispers of broken oaths. 

Your faceplates hunt me in my recharge, optics blaming me for not providing the love you wanted. 

 

_And there's nothing left here to remind me,_   
_just the memory of your face ,_

 

I may be naive, a fool; but I still hope and dream of waking in your arms, of it only having been a nightmare. 

I've been avoiding recharge, because although those thoughts keep me going, when I wake to reality I wonder why I bother living. 

There’s nothing left for me. Everything points to how happy you are, away from me. I couldn't bear to take that from you, even if it kills me inside to admit that. All I can do, is pray that something will bring you back to me.

Until then, I'll wait.

 

_But to wait for you,_   
_well that's all I can do and that's what I've got to face_   
_Take a look at me now._


End file.
